red dot little duck

The story? A small car packed with a few boxes and some road snacks; directions from Spokane, WA to Philadelphia, PA courtesy of Google maps on the passengers seat. Me? Behind the wheel of this hot rod Ford… Focus. Leaving my friends, my family – what was known and comfortable. A drive into uncertainty. The plan? To study yoga with my teacher, to practice hard, to work enough to sustain myself and to get my ass back to India.

I arrived in Philly around 1am on a Tuesday. With the help and guidance of a few kind souls, the landing was solid and fairly stress free. So grateful. That very morning was my first practice at AYS Philadelphia with David Garrigues. After fourteen hours on the road and no more than four hours of sleep I was on my mat. Pure anticipation or shakti or maybe it was the leftover caffeine in my veins that carried me there. It didn’t really matter; I was there. Made it. That was just over a week ago. I hope I never forget anything about that first practice. Thinking it’s going to carry me through.

It didn’t take long for the shit to start coming up. You know… the questions. My mind saying, “What the HELL did you just do? I’ll tell you what you just did. Honky-tonk.” I miss my friends, family. I miss India and what was going on there. Coming back was hard. Still hard. Things were happening with my practice, my thoughts, beliefs. Things I’m afraid to lose. Now, I’m back in the states – adjustment one. I packed a car and left my home for real – adjustment two. So here I am, practicing with what feels like a different body, slightly frustrated with the apparent backslide of ability and looking for work to sustain myself and purchase a plane ticket.

Got to keep the faith, as I have no idea what is going to happen. None. The job will come and the practice will always be there, through the shifts, fears and frustrations. I trust this. And I suppose, that’s the most important part.