“Eat only once, once per day.”
by Joanna D.
It’s not the first time a teacher has mentioned I should trim it down. Perhaps Sharath’s approach was a bit subtler; it was certainly still direct – to the point. Oh man. I know that the intention of this suggestion is not to take me down a notch. Nor is it an implication that I am in some way inadequate. In fact, I believe it is coming from a place of love and caring. They see me struggling, they know that dropping weight would help, so one way or another the conversation comes. Unfortunately, the monsters come too.
I was the first girl in my class to get boobs. I was taller, wider, and at some point a boy named Aaron called me “thunder thighs” on the four square court. Fourth grade – brutal. Still remember what that felt like. It got worse once I started running track. Whoa. Much of my younger years were spent feeling bad about myself. Striving, trying but, never fully believing. During that time, the monsters were born. They are the ones that sit in the back of my brain and wait for the opportunity to remind me of their presence. Throwing stones – a one-two punch. Brutal. It’s conditioning at it’s finest. Lie number one, “Look like this (magazine cover model) and someone will love you and make you happy.” Lie number two, “You can’t do it? You totally suck. Loser.” Lie number three, “Hey Fatty McFatfat.” And so on.
Now I’m here with none of the usual distractions of work, nights out, dinners, drinks… the inner workings of my brain are not as occupied. So they get loud. When they get poked they get louder. Currently… Loud.
I’ve got at least two things going for me. One: the practice. Two: awareness. So I continue. Keeping faith that one day, through practice, I’ll knock those monsters out. Suckas.
Close you eyes, take a sword and cut of the heads of the monsters, every time. It’s been working wonders for me . Love you, beautiful woman.
We all have those monsters and it’s a good reminder to me to remember I’m not the only one. Thank you for sharing. So happy for you that you are on this jouney and I hope the positive thoughts begin to override the negative. 🙂 love you!
Joanna. You are not alone in this struggle. Maybe you will be able to help children overcome these things. I think that you are beautiful.
In a country with such delicous food it would be very hard to eat only once a day. Slay those monsters and know that you are the most beautiful sister in the world.
Hug hug kiss kiss hug hug big kiss little hug kiss kiss little kiss.
remember to laugh.. hand puppets might be a fun release… light and dark light and dark… we must embrace are dark side ..as well as our light side..
I hear you sissy thanks for being so real….I love you fattymcfatfat. xoxo
Dawling… I know of these past problems. As an obese child it built massive character. I eventually overcame anything! Getting outside of your own view is often difficult, especially since you are beautiful within and out. Thinking of you! Soak it up, Pretty, Pretty!
(BTW, I’m at the Swamp and LOVING it!)
You have always been and always will be beautiful, inside and out. And I should know.