Goin’ to Montana
by Joanna D.
“I talk to my inner lover, and I say, why such rush?
We sense that there is some sort of spirit that loves
birds and animals and the ants–
perhaps the same one who gave a radiance to you
in your mother’s womb.
Is it logical you would be walking around entirely orphaned now?
The truth is you turned away yourself,
and decided to go into the dark alone.
Now you are tangled up in others, and have forgotten
what you once knew,
and that’s why everything you do has some weird sense of failure in it.”
Practicing Ashtanga has helped me find the strength to heal myself from injury. More than once. It also GAVE me strength to dig deep and find some level of understanding as to what direction I’ve traveled that created the necessity for healing in the first place. Physically and mentally. Not to mention, the realization that there is more healing yet to happen. This is an interesting and fairly difficult time for me and my development along this trajectory. It wasn’t just mobility or physical ability that I lost when I fell off those rocks in NY. Though I think some of those losses were already in progress. It’s possible that many people would have given up. I don’t want to give up. I’m not giving up.
The past two years have been quite possibly the most physically and mentally challenging of my entire life. The relationships that have come into and out of my life during my stay here will continue to teach me things about my relationship to the world for many years to come. Losses and gains. Experiences with trust, doubt, love, hate, disappointment, joy… packed into a condensed time frame and jammed inside my entire being; jostling loose INTENSE emotion and drive to discover my Self and sense of worth.
Once again mobile, all my “things” moved out of Philadelphia and safely stashed in Durham, its time to hop a plane for the west side of the states. Montana. I will be teaching at the Yoga Fitness Center in Downtown Missoula so if you find yourself there, come and practice!
One more thing… Suzanne Faulkner and Nikos Chremos (Littleman and Skeeter too), thank you for the incredible amount of love and support you have shown me. I don’t even have the words to describe my gratitude. I love you all so much! Please send pictures of Skeeter often. See you soon – xoxo